Get Going on That Big Important Thing You Want to Do
Keys to Moving Through the Overwhelm Between “You Are Here” and “Arrived”
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That Plan of Yours
It can be ridiculously frustrating to dream of doing something, to imagine the end result so vividly, yet still realize that you’re either not doing that thing or a heck of a lot of time has passed and you’re not finishing that thing. It remains filed under “someday.”
A corner of your brain is dedicated to it, your whole heart is in it, you probably even talk about it with a dreamy look on your face.
You’re convinced you’ll do the thing, but you just… don’t.
I don’t know if it’s good news or bad news, but there are a lot of people on this planet in the same boat.
Between “You Are Here” and “Arrived”
I hate to admit it, but I’m a chronic freezer-upper when I want to do something, it’s important to me, and it’s something I don’t know a lot about. I’ve frozen up thinking of writing a book, starting a blog, moving on from a relationship, moving on from a situation, my next career move, even choosing the right dog to adopt. I am a seasoned pro.
When I have those ideas, I get excited. I tell people about it with enthusiasm bubbling over and feel super satisfied with myself that I have this amazing plan. I’m pretty sure I’m going to impress the socks off of people.
In that honeymoon phase of my grand plans, I picture myself where I am. “You Are Here.” And, as if I’m simply going to follow a mall map and walk to the place I want to go, I picture myself there. “Arrived.” Everything feels possible at this point. I haven’t thought too much about all of the decisions that will be involved, or all that needs to be considered and figured out. I bravely say, “I know it might be hard, but I’m going to do it,” and I fully believe I will.
Slowly, I start thinking of the life-changing implications (even if it’s not all that dramatic) involved in potential wrong choices, and then I do some Googling. If I just launched into the thing, I’d stumble and make mistakes for sure, but I would have done the thing, and it would probably be fine in the end.
Instead, I gather more information.
Inevitably, I find a few of those worst-case-scenario doomsday stories about what could go wrong, which makes more research seem like due diligence. Fear sets in. Trying to figure out how not to make a mistake becomes a stealth form of procrastination. Without even realizing it, I’ve stepped right into the analysis paralysis zone. I’ve overthought the entire scenario, and I’ve stopped taking any action to move forward.
Puzzling Epiphany
Maybe epiphany is a strong word. But there was a puzzle and a realization involved.
There are some things you know on a surface level, but they don’t really sink in until you have a lightbulb moment. Not long ago, while I was spinning my wheels on a big plan of mine, I thought, you know what? I’m not actually doing anything to reach my goal, I’m just putting a lot of thought into it. This is like trying to get the pieces of a puzzle in place by thinking really hard and not touching the pieces.
This isn’t how you work through a puzzle. You have to pick up the pieces to work through it. You find those edge pieces and get a basic structure in place. You get clues from the outer edge of the puzzle. You pick up a piece and try to fit it with another. If it doesn’t fit, you try another one. Eventually you pick up a piece that fits in place. The more you put the pieces in their place, the easier it is to make more progress. You keep doing that until you get to the end.
Realizing action is needed to move forward on something is pretty basic stuff, right? But imagining myself staring at a big pile of puzzle pieces, trying to figure out the whole thing from start to finish without picking up the pieces- that finally got through to me.
Lightbulb. My efforts can’t stop at thoughts, research and learning if I really want to accomplish something. I can’t give into the anxiety of overwhelm and remain frozen. I have to try even if it’s scary.
Questions Aren’t Stop Signs
Do these sound familiar? You don’t know how it will go and whether it will all be ok in the end. It’s unfamiliar territory for you and you don’t feel confident. How will people react? Is it even something you could do? Failing wouldn’t feel good. You might do it wrong. You only know how to do this one part, but not the rest. There are so many steps, some you never thought of. It’s harder than you thought. It could change your life for the better if all goes as planned, but it could change your life in negative ways too. You wonder if you even want to do this. There are so many decisions and which ones are the right ones?
The mysterious force that kept me stuck for such long periods of time were questions to be answered (usually a lot of them), and I was treating them like stop signs.
Answers to the questions come with action. They come with trial and error. We have to make some moves and continue with whatever knowledge we already have. We have to figure out the rest while doing vs before doing.
The “with whatever knowledge I already have” part seems scary.
I want to know all the things in advance. I want to look into the future and know I did it. I want guarantees. I want a phone call (wait, no- a text) from my future self. “Hey Jill, that plan of yours worked out and you didn’t fail. It’s ok to proceed!!”
Future Jill is unfortunately not going to text me. I’ll have to move forward without knowing what’s ahead. I have to try something. I need to trust that the next pieces are there in the jumble and I can figure out where they go. I can accomplish my goal if I keep going. If I do that, that will be enough. If I let the trial and error happen, I’ll eventually put that last satisfying piece in place.
It’s Time to Pick Up Those Pieces
There are six things to remember when we find ourselves not moving forward on something important to us.
You can’t do something new and important to you by thinking, researching, and learning alone. Unless the big new thing you want to do is think, research, and learn alone.
Questions aren’t stop signs. Do not pull up to them and stop.
Actions answer the questions.
Trial and error, one step at a time is how things get done.
There will be errors, and they will serve a purpose. You’ll know what not to do.
Planning is good, learning is good, but you. must. get. moving.
Try the first step. Try the next step. Try again if it doesn’t work. Start picking up those puzzle pieces in that idea of yours to see how and where they fit. Gather those edge pieces and get some basics in place. Make phone calls. Ask questions. Schedule appointments. Get to work. Hire some help. You’ll get it wrong sometimes and you’ll know you need to try another piece. Learn what you need to know, what to do and how as you go. You will get there if you keep going.
Unlucky Boxes
But what about those crazy unlucky puzzle boxes that are missing pieces? What if That Big Thing you finally try turns out to be an “unlucky box” project and all the pieces don’t come together to create the picture advertised on the box?
You just gained experience and proved to yourself that you can get to the end, whether it’s a satisfying end or not. So many questions about it will have been answered. You won’t continue to go through life knowing you didn’t try it.
If it didn’t work, dream up something new. On to the next project.
